The Irony of Lily's Thoughts

In chapter 8 of The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton, I noticed the irony of Lily's thoughts and actions.  It was most obvious during the Van Osburgh wedding when she sees Selden.  Wharton wrote: "She did not wish to see him again...because his presence always had the effect of cheapening her aspirations, of throwing her whole world out of focus (p 71)."  This is so ironic because she is always happy when she is with Selden.  It would make sense for her to be happy to see him.  Additionally, rather than cause her to lose focus on what is important, Selden actually causes Lily to focus on what IS important.  He teaches her to place less emphasis on belongings and money and more on intelligence, wit, and happiness.  Making this more ironic is the fact that she could marry him and solve her problem of needing a husband if she were to abandon those desires.  However, because she sticks to her old hunger for materialism, she loses her chance at marrying Selden and living a happier life.  The situation becomes even more ironic when she chooses to talk to the rich Mr. Rosedale whom she loathes instead of Selden.  Her focus on riches has finally gone too far.